


Close to Me

by often_adamanta



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-29
Updated: 2011-06-29
Packaged: 2017-10-22 08:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/often_adamanta/pseuds/often_adamanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Originally posted at livejournal <a href="http://often-adamanta.livejournal.com/208877.html">here</a>.</p></blockquote>





	Close to Me

Spock acknowledges him as he enters their quarters with a quiet, “Jim,” but doesn’t look up from his paperwork.

Jim watches him for a minute a few steps inside the door and represses the urge to sigh. He’s had a bad shift. Not doom and destruction, which he actually enjoys defeating, but just vaguely boring and irritable. The kind of shift where the stuff that normally rolls off his back frustrates the hell out of him.

Really, the only thing that got him through the last two hours of his shift was the thought of spending some time with Spock tonight. Spock, who always manages to cheer him up. Spock, who still hasn’t looked up from his work.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Jim says. Spock doesn’t answer.

Jim knows that this is one of those cultural gaps, and that Vulcans find it illogical to respond to a statement if there’s no reason. Jim still can’t help but feel ignored. He retaliates by leaving a trail of clothes into the small bathroom knowing that Spock hates it when he makes a mess.

When he steps into the shower, he lets out the sigh he’d been holding in and then berates himself for being stupid. It isn’t Spock’s fault that Jim is misreading his behavioral cues.

It also isn’t Spock’s fault that Jim won’t ask for what he wants. Not that Spock leaves much to be desired. Pretty much the only thing he’d change is for Spock to touch him more, but he isn’t good at asking for things that are related to emotions more than sex. Every time he even thinks of saying something, asking, “Will you hold me?” he feels immeasurably stupid. It’s so inane, and Spock is prickly about touch at the best of times.

By the time he’s showered and dry, he’s talked himself out of being upset with Spock even if his overall mood hasn’t improved much. He walks out of the bathroom naked and straight into Spock.

Spock’s hands are warm around Jim’s waist, and he smiles and allows himself to be reeled in. It’s just what he wants until one of Spock’s hands drops down to grab his ass, and his whole body tenses. It’s only for a second, long enough for Jim to mentally shrug and think, _better than nothing_ , but of course Spock notices and is several steps away before Jim can do anything to stop him.

“I apologize,” Spock says, watching him intently with a painfully blank face. “Usually when you leave your clothes on the floor in such a manner it is because you are angry that I have ignored you when you want sex.”

“No, Spock, it’s fine. I like sex, let’s have sex,” Jim reassures him, waving his hand to get Spock to come back over so they can have that sex already.

“I am aware that you have no reservations about sex, Jim,” Spock says “But it is also not what you want, is it?”

“I--” Jim begins and stops the lie before it can leave his mouth. He wraps one arm across his chest and rubs his fingers gently over the tense muscles in his neck. “No, it’s not.”

“Then again, I apologize--”

“No, stop it, you don’t have to apologize. Nine times out of ten you’d be right.” Jim moves over to their dresser and removes a soft pair of pajama pants, because if they’re not going to have sex, he sees no point in being the only naked one in the room.

“What about this time?” Spock asks as he pulls them on.

“What do you mean?”

“In this particular instance, what do you want?” Jim doesn’t answer, fiddling with the draw string at his waist. “It is logical to share your needs in a relationship, Jim, so that they may be met.”

“It’s not that easy,” Jim protests.

“So you have said before. I do not understand the difficulty.”

Jim crosses the room to the replicator unit. “Would you like some tea?”

“I would like for you to talk to me,” Spock replies with blunt honesty.

Jim gets a cup for himself and goes and sits on the small couch where Spock had been working before. “Stop looming,” Jim insists, and Spock tentatively sits at the other end.

“When you were a kid,” Jim begins, “And you asked your parents for stuff, did you get it?”

“If it was logical,” Spock says immediately, and then admits, “Or if my mother thought it would be beneficial.”

“My mom was off world a lot,” Jim tells him, even though Spock already knows this. “My stepfather, he didn’t really give a shit.” Jim smiles mirthlessly. “After a while, Spock, I just stopped asking.”

Spock is staring at the floor now, silent, like he always gets when he hears about something that has hurt Jim. Finally he looks up, eyes flashing with the anger he’s so ruthlessly controlling. “I think I understand. But, Jim,” and the fight goes out of him as he says Jim’s name, his eyes softening, “I am still unable to fulfill your desire if I am unaware of what it is.”

Jim sets the tea aside. He hasn’t even tasted it, just used it to busy his hands. “Can I show you?”

“Yes,” Spock agrees instantly.

Jim grins. “Aren’t you even a little concerned about--”

“Anything, Jim.”

Jim swallows. Normally, those words in that voice would go straight to his dick, but tonight it just allows him to trust enough to move toward Spock, to push him back against the cushions and all but crawl into his lap. He curls one arm clumsily around Spock and tucks his nose into Spock’s shoulder, breathes in deep and rubs his nose minutely against the warm, smooth skin he finds there.

“Please,” he begs softly, voice cracking embarrassingly, but Spock immediately wraps strong arms around him, pulling him tight against his body. He relaxes, melting into the embrace, and gradually feels the annoyance of the day give way to safety and warmth.

Spock relaxes gradually as well. Although his grip on Jim stays firm, his shields thin until Jim can feel his protectiveness and the pleasure he feels at holding Jim.

 _This is very agreeable, Jim_. His thoughts are faint against Jim’s mind without a meld. _You may ask for this any time._

Jim closes his eyes and smiles. Spock always does manage to make him feel better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at livejournal [here](http://often-adamanta.livejournal.com/208877.html).


End file.
